Change of plans...

Andrew's cast came off this past Tuesday. He had some sort of gauze/patch over his incision. I noticed on Sunday it was getting red and swollen all around that area. He was also starting to get a fever. I called a nurse but she recommended I call his orthopedic.

I was able to talk to him and he said to take out the gauze and come to his office Tuesday morning. We gave Andrew pain medication before attempting to take it off. After about half an hour of trying, I took it out, it looked really bad under there. The piece of gauze was disgusting, it looked like it was covered in pus. I have no idea what was going on under there.

As soon as they took us in Tuesday morning, they started taking the cast off. My poor baby cried/screamed so much when it finally came off, it was horrible, I wasn't expecting it at all :( I had his rhino brace with me, so I put it on right away so he wouldn't be in so much pain. He also had pain medicine, but it didn't seem to make a difference.

When we finally got home, he took a nice long nap. He is doing better today, but I'm still giving him pain medication. He had a bath yesterday and did good. We have to be extra careful during diaper changes to not hurt him. His scar is about 2 inches long.

I'm glad the cast is off and we are now on the road to getting our life back to "normal". We go back to his orthopedic in 2 weeks. He still doesn't move the leg he had surgery on, so we will see how he is doing then. I can not wait to see my little baby happy and pain free again.

Ps: Flowers where sent to Andrew from baby Emery :)

Counting down the days...

I guess I will start where I left off last time. My dad came to visit and it went by too quickly, I still can't believe he was actually here. We were able to go to Disney World. We went to Epcot for most of the day, and then to Magic Kingdom for a couple of rides and the light parade. Andrew did so good! He was looking at everything. The only thing that sucked was that I was feeling sick that day and it was really hot. My parents had a good time too :)

 On June 3rd, Andrew had his surgery. This time, our morning went by smoothly. I found out I could feed him 4 hrs before the surgery if it was breast milk. I'm still mad that no one mentioned this last time, he cried so much from going so many hours without eating! They didn't take blood from him this time either, so that was good. When it was time for them to take him, he was awake and happy at least.

The first night at the hospital was rough. Mike went home to take care of our pup and my mom spent the first night with me. It seemed like Andrew cried or complained all night... poor baby was in pain, even with the pain medication. We were supposed to check out the next day, but they didn't have the special car seat ready for us. I think it worked out, because Andrew was still very delicate. So we stayed a second night at the hospital, this time my mother in law stayed with me.

He will be in the cast for a little over 6 weeks, but I think I will try to get an appointment a little earlier. He already smells really bad! I don't know if it was the anesthesia effect but, he had really runny poop for the first weeks, meaning, he got it all over the cast right away :( And speaking of poop, he is now back to being constipated. We already had switched his formula before the surgery and was doing fine, so maybe it's because of the cast, which is common.

My mom has been great help. The first few weeks were rough, it seems like this week he has been doing a lot better. He still doesn't really sleep well though. This time, the cast is a lot looser than the first one. They put 2 pins in his hip, which will come out in a few months. On the side of the good hip, the cast only goes down to his knee.

(During his therapy)

He started his physical therapy a few weeks ago too. He is doing good and hopefully once the cast comes off, he will do even better. We are having a hard time making our insurance pay for the helmet he needs. We are doing everything possible to help him, but because of the casts and harness, we are limited to how we can position him when he is on his back, which is what the stupid insurance doesn't understand I guess. I don't think they have bothered to read about the rest of his issues.

Well enough of that! I will try to come back here more often, it's just hard to get on an actual computer now that we only have one desktop at home. Thank goodness for my smart phone. Oh! I also found a group here in Orlando of baby wearing mommies. They have different carriers I can rent or try out and they seem really nice, I can't wait to meet them.

(Hat my mom made)

Hip Dysplasia Update

My brave baby boy is 4 months old now (19 weeks). Three weeks ago (3/8), the cast finally came off. They gave us bad news, only one of his hips is back in the socket, the other one is still completely dislocated. He will have hip surgery in little less than 2 months from now. You can kind of guess by now how upset I was after hearing this. It scares me that even after surgery, it will not be better and that more surgeries will come. For now, I try not to think about it, because I'm trying to deal with one little problem at a time.

(In the cast, a few days before they took it off)

After the surgery, he will be back in a spica cast for 6 weeks, which is the worst part I think. Right now, he is wearing a Rhino Cruiser brace. He is way more comfortable now (I think) and I can take it off for diaper changes and for baths. The only inconvenience is that he gets really upset for almost every single diaper change and bath. I don't know why he cries (and kicks and wants to scratch himself all at the same time). I thought maybe he was in pain, but sometimes I give him small breaks from the brace and he is fine, it's only when I'm changing his diaper or giving him a bath. 

(Rhino Cruiser brace)

The other problem we are having right now is dealing with his eczema. The pediatrician prescribed an oil (after trying lots of other creams) that needs to be applied on damp skin, that's another struggle to apply it, just like diaper change time. Some days his skin looks fine, but he still tries to scratch/rub his face all day long! It's really exhausting keeping him from rubbing, because even with his mittens, he still irritates his skin pretty quickly. 

(Sweet silly boy, trying on hats)

We think Andrew has more bad days than good. He still cries a lot for no apparent reason. Surprisingly, he is really good when other people are around, ha! joke's on us I guess. I'm still trying so very hard to not get so angry and try to be patient, but it's just so hard! Other people don't seem to get it, they tell me to stay calm because the baby senses it, etc etc. It makes me feel worse, because I can not stay calm after a few hours of non stop crying, a good mom would keep her cool right? ha 

 (Happy baby game day!)

But, he does have some good days, and those are so nice! I can actually cuddle with him, read to him and do all those fun things you are supposed to do with a baby. He also smiles more. The good thing about the brace is that he can wear pants and shoes, and I can take it off for pictures yay! :) We have an appointment with his ortho next week, so we'll see if there's any updates. Thanks for reading and letting me vent, not having other friends with babies is pretty lonely. 

Motherhood

I've been a mom for a little over 3 months now, and let me tell you, the amount of emotions I have felt in this short period of time, are sometimes overwhelming. Not all of these emotions have been good unfortunately. I have felt so angry, guilty, sad, resentful, etc... it makes me wonder if I'll ever be a good mommy. I need patience, lot's of it.

I feel like something has been going on with my little baby since he was born (NICU, the harness and now the cast) My mom came and left. She was so much help these past 5 weeks. I was able to go to bed with my husband, eat dinner with him, rest, hand the baby over when I had to pump or when I was just plain overwhelmed.

Now we are back to just the 3 of us, still trying to come up with a good routine. Right now, Mike does all the cooking and I do most of the cleaning. I go to bed at around 8pm and Mike stays up with the baby, sometimes the baby will sleep, other times he'll be up. I wake up at around 2am to pump and take over baby duty for the rest of the morning/day. This is the only way we can both get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, the baby wakes up about every hour at night.

The first few weeks with the cast were very difficult. I wrote that he was crying and spitting up more than usual in my last post, well, it got even worse. Then finally around week 4, he was doing much better. He even started getting more vocal and sort of smiling, here's a video of him in his little "jungle". I still don't think he smiles "on purpose". I finally figured out a way to hold him that would make him burp, and that seemed to help.

(See, told you, rubbing his face. Taken on Feb 11, 13 weeks old)

Since my mom left, it seems like he has gone back to crying a lot again. It's really hard to deal with the crying, especially when you are hungry, probably dirty, have to use the bathroom, tired and nothing seems to soothe the baby, it is such a horrible feeling, I sometimes end up crying with him. We have to keep mittens on him at all times now, because all he wants to do is rub his little face off, it's pretty frustrating. We can't really swaddle him because he gets overheated.

At this point, we have less than 2 weeks to go until they take the cast off. You have no idea how excited I'm! I want to finally bathe him, see his whole precious little body. He is starting to get stinky and he has had a few poop explosions... not good. I will be heartbroken if his hips haven't improved and he needs another cast, I really don't know how I'm going to deal with it. I think the hospital stay and recovering from the anesthesia are the worst parts...I think... the crying is pretty bad too :(

I never imagined this was going to be so hard; physically and emotionally. Mike is pretty positive that once the cast comes off, Andrew will do much better. In the mean time, we are just taking it day by day, enjoying the moments when the baby does seem happy. Thanks to everyone that has been praying and sending good thoughts, I really appreciate it, it really makes me feel a little better.

Our little secret

My baby has hip dysplasia, aka Developmental Dysplasia of the hip (DDH). When he was born, they heard a "hip click". I didn't think anything of it. When we went to our regular pediatrician, he also heard it and gave us a referral to a pediatric orthopedic. Turns out, his hips were dislocated, not really sure what caused it, but it might have been because of my low amniotic fluid during pregnancy.

We didn't want to mention it online or to some of our family members so they wouldn't worry, we were pretty positive it would all be over soon and everything would go back to normal, no need to have everyone stressed out about it.

(Dec 25, 10)

They put him in a pavlik harness for 6 long weeks when he was 2 weeks old. He had to have it on 24/7, which meant limited baths and difficult diaper changes. It was extremely stressful at times. He couldn't wear a lot of the cute clothes that were given to him. And it was hard not talking about it on facebook or twitter.

We had weekly ultrasound and orthopedic appointments to check his progress. About 3 weeks ago, the orthopedic said the hips were improving and to not come back until 2 weeks. I was so excited that for our next appointment, everything would be fine and that he would come off his harness. Well, bad news, no improvement.

The next step was getting him in a spica cast. The whole procedure is called a "closed reduction hip surgery", no actual incision is done, the doctor just manually puts the hip back in place under radiographic control, all done under anesthesia. At least he had a week without the harness or cast.

(Jan 12, bath day since his harness got super dirty I had to wash it)

I was not prepared for this. Why was this happening to us, my poor baby didn't deserve this. Life with a baby is pretty challenging as it is and now all of this? I was so upset! We couldn't keep this a secret anymore, I needed everyones support and I needed to be able to vent online.

The good news is that before we even knew he needed the cast, we had already bought my mom a ticket to come help us out (no, we are still not used to this new baby business). My mom got here this past Wednesday and the baby was scheduled for his "surgery" Friday early morning (Jan 21).

(Enjoying his harness free days by trying out his bumbo for the first time. Jan 16)

Since he had to be put to sleep, he couldn't eat anything past midnight. It was heartbreaking to see him cry and not be able to feed my poor baby. he also spent a night at the hospital for observation. My mom and I were with him. It was hard seeing my little guy with an IV, in a cast (it goes from his chest all the way to his ankles) and of course all the other cables and monitors, back to hearing beeps like when he was in the NICU.

He will be in the cast for 8 weeks. I hope it goes by fast and that this is the last step in fixing this problem. I can't wait for him to have a normal life. There might be another type of harness or brace he has to wear after the cast comes off, we are not sure yet.

Right now, he is doing ok. He has been spitting up and crying a bit more than the usual. So far, diaper changes haven't been as difficult as I thought they would be. He wears a newborn diaper that has to be tucked into the cast, then a bigger one on top of it. He has a pediatrician appointment this week, so we'll see how he's doing.

(This morning, 10 weeks old)