Let's Catch up!

We had a quiet Christmas just the three of us, grandma was sick. Here's a cute picture since I haven't update my blog since then. It felt like Andrew's first Christmas to us :)

Andrew is sitting for longer periods of time now, but he still doesn't catch himself when he falls. We are working on it. The helmet is off! He outgrew it. I don't really see a big difference, which is disappointing. He is just developing very slowly, so he didn't progress much.

We had a few months of bad spitting up and vomiting. His GI put him on Zantac for now and it has really helped. No more vomiting. He's having an upper gi done next week, so we can see if there is anything going on. We also went to a really nice ENT. I'm trying a nasal spray for the congestion he always has. He also has fluid in his ears, we might look into getting tubes.

His surgery for the pin removal from his hip is scheduled for March 9th. I'm nervous and anxious. I hope the recovery is easy and that he isn't in too much pain. I'm mostly afraid of the news they might give us on how his hips are doing. I'm praying for good news.

His first tooth finally broke through this week! At almost 15 months old. Also, thanks to GetPumped, I have enough breastmilk to give Andrew for a few weeks. He also eats a bit of oatmeal in the mornings with pureed fruits and veggies. I also started giving him PediaSmart. He is still not interested in real food.

Mike moved to a cool new office. They have a whole building to themselves. They also grill almost everyday for lunch, so lucky! The bad thing about the new office is having just one car. I drop him off in the morning if I need the car that day. He is also very much into video games lately...oh and politics :S

I finally have more mommy friends and regular playdates, which makes me very happy! I've been having a few Etsy sales lately. I want to introduce prints of my paintings soon. I've also been making flower felt hair clips, but haven't had time to add them to my shop. I recently cut my hair the shortest I've ever had it. I had to buy an iron, because I don't like the way my curls are behaving. 

I will try to update more often so my posts aren't super long. I also need to take more pictures with my "big" camera. Speaking of photos, there are A LOT of mommy photographers around. I would like to take photos of events or parties. I took some of our babywearing anniversary playdate and everyone loved them. Hopefully I'll have the chance to do it more often, maybe for a small fee? 

(Almost) One Year

I honestly can not say this last year has been the happiest year of my life. It sucks, yes, but that's just how it is. I'm learning to throw all my expectations, along with baby milestones out the window. I'm in a better place right now than what I was even just a few months ago. I'm glad I started going to therapy because that is what is helping me discover all this.

I still get stressed out and angry, but it's different now. I feel like I handle it better. I'm finally feeling happy again and my sweet baby boy seems better too. I still stress about his weight and throwing up, but overall we are all in such a better and happier place in our lives right now, and that gives me hope. 

Last year he has been through a pavlik harness, rhino brace, 2 spica casts, physical therapy, speech therapy, starband helmet and the rhino brace at night. He has also seen an orthopedic, geneticist, dermatologist, ophthalmologist, neurosurgeon, cardiologist, gastrointestinal and his regular pediatrician of course. What's next? I'm not sure.

I know that with his condition, we might run into more hospital stays or medical interventions. But right now, today, I feel hopeful, that everything will eventually get better. I'm learning to accept that this is our "normal". So even though it hasn't been the happiest year of my life, he really does make me happy, he is an awesome, tough, sweet little guy. We will just take it day by day and enjoy even the smallest of achievements. 

Thank you Gina for sharing this quote with me.

The Bad

It seems like after the spica cast came off, things got hard again. My mom had to leave a few weeks earlier than planned because my step dad had surgery. At least my mom was still here when the cast came off and a few days after. Andrew's eczema got really bad again. He's skin didn't actually look so bad, but he would not stop scratching ALL DAY LONG.

He started hating bath time again and diaper changes were once again a challenge (he was probably still hurting a bit and just wanted to scratch!) I think I even started to get depressed. I was so frustrated and every little thing made me very angry. I hated myself for feeling that way, especially because it wasn't Andrew's fault. I took him to the pediatrician, and until the second time I went back for the same issue, I finally got the referral to the dermatologist.

Dermatologist said I had to give him a bath every single day. I stressed out immediately since it was just so hard to give him a bath. She also gave me samples of Cetaphil Restoraderm body wash and lotion and a prescription for an ointment. I also bought him a hazel wood necklace that's supposed to help with eczema and constipation. It was worth a try.

His itching improved so much after just the daily baths and the Cetaphil products. The first few times were hard as usual. He is finally calming down, but I still need Mike's help. Even though his skin had improved without the medicated ointment, when the pharmacy finally had it for me, I went ahead and started using it. Now I stopped using it again, see how he does without it. So far he seems fine :)

Around that time when his itching was out of control, I was feeling desperate for help and made an appointment to start counseling. Even though I feel more relaxed now, I'm still going. I know it will help me. I feel like I'm still grieving the loss of having a "normal" healthy baby. I thought I would be over it by now. Sometimes I can't sleep thinking about him and get so sad and angry, I just don't understand why :(

He had his geneticist appointment this week. I usually look forward to it since she's the only one that asks us lot's of questions and knows more about his condition. She thinks he is doing great except for his physical developments. So, we left overwhelmed and with lot's of prescriptions for more specialists. She thinks he needs occupational therapy for his hand use and speech therapy to help with feeding.

He also needs a hearing and vision test, along with an xray of his wrists, a renal ultrasound and an echo cardiogram. I'm terrified, scared of finding out something bad after he gets these things done. I feel like I just can't handle more issues. It probably sounds extremely selfish of me but, I feel so jealous of other moms that don't have to worry about all these things.

We couldn't decide what to do about the helmet situation since the insurance still doesn't want to pay for it. His pediatrician thinks his head will eventually fix itself, especially once he starts rolling and moving more, which he still can't really do because of the brace. The geneticist feels like he really needs it and now is the time to do it. So, we go back this Monday to finally have it made, it's going to suck :(

(All cell phone pics this time)